she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
