i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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