I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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