Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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