I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
