doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
