so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
