JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
