You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
