So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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