Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
