i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
