my room smells like sperm. sweet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
