some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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