I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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