She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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