You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
