yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
