I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
