alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
