But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
