So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
