I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
