I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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