Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
