I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
