i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Randomize
