Got a toothbrush?
You just made me feel so damn special
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
