I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
try to milk me bitch
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
