So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
