woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
