The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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