If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
