Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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