I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
