She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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