that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
