too bad you live with your parents still
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
