I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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