Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
