I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
