Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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