Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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