I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
