Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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