Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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