found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
