And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
