Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
