If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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