While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
