Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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