Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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