our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
